AP and EC- A Few Words on Elimination Communication and Attachment Parenting

I know, I know, so early in this blog I am inundating you with just the type of personal accounts that I rant about in my earlier posts… Well, I hope this is not quite the case, I hope to inundate you with some fresh food for thought at the very least! I'm so excited about the benefits of EC and their enrichment in my attachment parenting experience with my daughter that I can't help but put a little blurb in this blog early on. I hope to do a review of Ingrid Bauer's book Diaper Free: The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene as soon as I get it back! This is one of those books I lend out quite often yet always wish I had on me LOL! I hope that this information along with the resources will prompt you to look into the topic of Elimination Communication and dispel some preconceptions along the way.

Many people I talk to have the idea that EC is about early potty training. Let me begin right here by saying that nothing could be farther from the truth.

OK, well not all that far really but totally off base. EC or Elimination Communication is all about Communication between mother and baby (or instead of mother insert father, caregiver, parents or whatever the case may be) Albeit, communication about elimination, but nonetheless the emphasis is the communication between baby & parent(s). Any potty learning that happens is a happy consequence of the communication about elimination LOL.

This premise of EC is practiced in most other non industrialized nations. It's simple;

listen to baby's "language" at an early age (sounds, expressions, etc)

allow yourself to tune in, and focus awareness at your baby's means of communication at their most basic

once your baby has made their need to eliminate known, do *something* about it

A good example of a baby's means of communicating is crying. We all know that one. Many "in tune" mothers and fathers can even distinguish the nuances of baby's different cries: he's tired, she's hungry, etc. and as good attachment parenting caregivers we attend to these needs right away. Many of us can even see the signs of discomfort that an infant communicates before elimination as well. Especially in a newborn they are not difficult to comprehend, reddening of the face, grunting, basically getting the hang of taking care of their elimination needs.

So without even trying, by applying attachment parenting techniques you are halfway to practicing EC as well.

The next issue is the more difficult- thinking outside of the box.

American society has many of us believing in the commercialized world that we perpetuate. We eat, breathe, wear, speak, live an ideal that is perpetuated by commercialism and television… if it's not McDonalds or Starbucks, Nike or Hummer what in the world is wrong with you? So- even if you are that rare soul that is willing to take an initiative, to cook at home while everyone is hanging out at McDonalds, just know that all your friends and family hanging out at MickyD's are going to think you're weird at least at first, until they see the results of EC in action.

Many people say, "…oh that sounds so nice but I don't have the time" or "I work" or "that's just too much for me with a new baby" but I have a feeling that these statements are again, just to serve as a reason to go to McDonalds. Just substitute "the baby's hungry" as the question posed to the replies above.

I mean, you were planning to change that diaper, weren't you?

OK I'll stop now, my point being that as a parent who is actively practicing attachment parenting you should promptly attend to the baby's needs in one way or the other right?

So why not the other?

Remember EC is first and foremost about communication. Don't feel that you must stay home all day with a naked baby, trying your hardest to tune into your baby's every smallest whimper to decipher if it means a poo or a pee. Just as long as you are*aware* and *doing something about it* whether this is pottying your little one or changing your baby's diaper right away you are already practicing EC on a level already!

Wasn't that easy??? And you didn't even have to reveal your secret identity as crazy vegan hippie mama who doesn't think McDonalds is so cool anymore!

The reasoning behind the diaper free aspect (that scares everyone) is that baby humans, like most other higher intelligence mammalians, are born with the intrinsic desire to be clean and dry. By keeping a "communicating" baby in a soiled diaper for any period of time you are inadvertently telling your perceptive little one "It's okay to go in your diaper. I know it feels yucky but just go with it."

And so it goes, the longer the baby gets this message, the more difficult it becomes to un-learn when the time that you decide to cross that bridge comes.

But I'll say it again, EC is not about that. It's all about the communication!

And, just like anything else AP, you do your best. There is no ECing parent that I know of that goes diaper free full time. You'll have accidents. Sometimes you'll be too stressed or preoccupied out to tune in, this is where diaper back ups come in. If you work and you may only have a limited amount of time to use this practice with your child. No worries, it's all good. You do your best and forget the rest :D

But just think of the benefits of even just part time EC! There will be less diapers to wash or buy, you will enjoy yet another level of closeness by sharing this intimate learning experience and have a baby who potty learns earlier and easier.

All things considered I feel that it is actually cleaner, easier and more AP than the conventional alternative. I'm not saying it will be a journey without bumps in the road though.

I started full time EC with my daughter at about 6 weeks. I had researched the topic in pregnancy, intrigued by the concept and curious as to how exactly the majority of people living on this Earth dealt with this issue, since most do not even have access to diapers in any conventional sense. I wanted to begin when she was a few days old but a funky allergic reaction (which, strangely enough I happened to get to the root of through practicing EC) kept her in disposables at birth. Even then, with a stressed out, half hearted attempt at tuning in I was amazed to find that my little girl really was communicating with me about this (among other things) and how easy it was if you just TRY!

Today my girlie is 15 months and, amid the all the distractions that come with being newly mobile I have to admit some days are better than others. While we were enjoying about a 90% overall success rate with her from ages 6weeks to about 10months we now have an overall success rate of about 50%. The small successes make it all worthwhile though. From about 8months she would stay dry all night even though I nurse on demand through the night. She is pretty darn reliable with regards to holding it for short-med outings (I have never asked her to, she just hates being wet in a diaper and this is the only time I put one on her.) Just two days ago she told me that she had to go potty and went to it, got on it and peed in it all by herself. Just a minute ago, as I am typing this and she is running around the house like a crazy girl and I had that feeling- hmmm, speaking of EC… I asked her if she had to go and guess what??? With this renewed awareness and (yay) willingness to take the time to focus on elimination needs I have a feeling potty learning gradhood is just around the corner!

And even through the misses there is always communication, even when I'm too distracted to realize it at the moment :D

For more info:

The most comprehensive guide on the subject is Diaper Free: The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene IMO! Go to the website to see a FAQs and table of contents of the book and more.

Great pictures of EC in action, to give you an idea of how the elimination part of EC is actually done with baby, at Free to EC

Find ECing families in your area at diaperfreebaby.org